Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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