There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
