Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
