i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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