At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just threw up on my dentist
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
