the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
