Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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