A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
