i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
