Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
