so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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