having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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