do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
