He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
