YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
