Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
