he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
