Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Randomize
