I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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