Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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