five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
