you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
