I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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