Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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