finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
