i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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