She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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