He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
