I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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