It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
