I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
