playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
