Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
