hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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