Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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