Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
