I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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