Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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