you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
