Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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