this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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