You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
