I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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