I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
