i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
