Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
