i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
