The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
