i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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