Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
