Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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