One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
